red lichtenstein? - Lemmy
lemmy.mlThis is a repost from r/GZD Originally posted by u/VoreLord on Jan 24 2021
Archive: https://archive.is/QGVYv [https://archive.is/QGVYv] The post: ok, hear
me out here. the miniscule country of liechtenstein, a bourgeoisie playhouse,
has a pathetic population of around 38 thousand, according to 2019 data goggle
search. GunPolicy.org [http://GunPolicy.org] states that there are only 11,000
firearms held illegally or illicitly by liechtenstein citizens, and only a
whopping 200 (!) guns owned by police, as the crime is very low. they expect or
are prepared for zero military invasion. this brings me into my next point. if
everyone in this subreddit committed, we could see red liechtenstein in the
future. The glorious banner of r/genzedong proudly enshrines that there are
22,787 wumaos among us (sus!). not only would liechtenstein be completely caught
napping, but they will be woefully under prepared to fend off our mission.
liechtenstein is even more suspectable (sus!) than my first paragraph made them
out to be, looking at demographics. 18.88% of their population is 65 years and
over, according to a google search, and 16.1% are between ages 0-14, according
to the CIA handbook, a collection of data from the international terrorist
group. excluding those two age groups from the potential counter revolutionary
forces, we get 65% of the population, around 24700 enemy combatants. ethnic
group demographics are not in our favor, not to make generalizations or anything
but it’s pretty safe to guess which ethnic types aren’t exactly keen to
dialectical materialism based on history. over 60% of liechtensteiners are from
there, which doesn’t mean much, but swiss and austrians are the next biggest
groups, combining to make nearly 16% of the population. swiss are bourgeoisie
bankers, but they also hosted lenin in exile so who knows. the autrians are a
question mark. germans and italians are the next biggest groups, and it’s highly
unlikely we’ll find any communists in those groups, given how post gdr germany
is and how italians are italians. portuguese are another question mark.
reactionary turkish come in at under 2% of the population, so they will provide
little threat to our launch. albanians are 1% of the population, so we might
pick up some hoxhaist allies on our way. weaknesses to our assault include a
very wealthy populace, great healthcare, full literacy, and good education, so
it’s basically a hyper bourgeoisie vacation spot. so, they will be very
motivated to resist becoming a people’s state, since they’ll have to give up
their privileged status in the world. this will cause quite an issue post
revolution, although all the literacy, healthcare, and education institutions
can remain, which will be nice for a change, amirite? i’ll touch up more on post
revolution plans later. as for the plan of attack, lichtenstein also has ZERO
armed forces. as i’ve provided early, we have twice as many soldiers as they
have guns, so the numbers are well in our favor. per usual, the resistance from
the pro liechtenstein richies will be mostly symbolic instead of material, so i
believe we can launch an attack and prevail victorious, like that one show.
forced to fight for themselves for once instead of paying someone else to do it,
they will flee like the cowards they are, paving the way for an r/genzedong
mickey mouse revolution. the challenge, however, is how we reach a landlocked
country surrounded by western european empires. i say we first enter germany via
ocean, posing as historical reenactors of the october revolution, but it’s
actually the real thing again. then, we travel our way down to the
germany-switzerland border, where we will use the power of adrian zenz by dming
him on twitter to expose their genocide against christians, spurring widespread
pro democracy protests. distracted by their own tyranny, the swiss government
will not see us turn their border with liechtenstein into swiss cheese, granting
us access to the big score. our first point of attack is also our final
destination, since liechtenstein is like 6 football fields big so we don’t have
much area to secure. we lay siege to the vaduz castle, home of the royal family.
i know right, constitutional monarchy is what owning capital does to a mf. but
first, we must travel through the rugged mountains of liechtenstein, a terrain
which has made it into a “real life wakanda”. with nobody to fight and xi bucks
at our disposal, we will make it through swimmingly, although the one guy with
asthma will be wilin’ the whole time. as we march on to the castle, the sheer
intimidation of thousands of revolutionaries may make prince alois (like family
guy) violently shit his pants and surrender, like putin when he sees navalny.
however, if he insisted on force, we open fire on the guards and blow open the
main gate with our sticky bombs made from slave labor in xinjiang. our stealth
agents will rappel with stasi produced spy gear into all entry points of the
building, subduing any royal forces they see and conducting a full search for
the prince. guards at the main gate will be laughably overmatched, and our
glorious army will put them down in a hurry. once we find the prince, we are
victorious, and can establish a dictatorship of the proletariat after executing
any royal affiliates in the castle. after the terror, we celebrate at
applebee’s, where there will be no food because liechtenstein would now be
communist. dejected, we will head back to the castle, which will unfortunately
be the party’s base of operations since there aren’t any other large buildings.
our first order of business will be establishing mass surveillance like ccp and
winnie the pooh. then, we shall utilize our stalinist necromancy to control the
weather and raise our fallen comrades from the siege. then, we shall ban any
books that mention anything outside of party propaganda, like in our instruction
manual, 1974. after starving everyone and suppressing freedom and democracy, we
will have achieved communism, like how marks imagined, and the glorious banner
of red liechtenstein will guide the free world…
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