Banana

Especially since they are hard-wired to just not notice it - hence why we constantly get told we are overreacting - to them it comes out of left field because they do not see what we see.

The real piss off with that is that while I realize it isn’t their fault they are socialized that way, if they really want to believe that they, individually, are one of the “good ones” (as in, the non-problematic men, the ones not contributing to the problem) they can’t justify that belief unless they are actively listening when we tell them what we experience, or how something comes across from our perspective. So many of them want to push the problem down by saying “nuh uh” or arguing with us about our own damn experiences

Its fucking asinine.

Gotta agree with you here Velma. The beauty of Lemmy isn’t that it attracts or allows different people, but that we aren’t advertised to, and we are able to block instances or communities that don’t work for us, and we are able to fully curate our home pages without being shown posts from completely unrelated pages just because they paid money to be boosted. Once that is done and we have found and settled into our spaces, that is where the good interactions come out.

Misogyny is just as rampant here as any online space, it’s a systemic issue, it was not a reddit/4chan-exclusive issue. It existed before and will outlast reddit/4chan until we solve the actual fucking problem: men are both socialized and continually encouraged to fundamentally disrespect women. They need to do just as much brain-rewiring as we do when we combat our internalized misogyny.

You’re telling us we have unrealistic expectations when you’ve been here for 9 days. Clearly we don’t have unrealistic expectations if we enjoy being here with its “limited activity” (compared to reddit). You just don’t understand why we prefer it and are arguing instead of listening to people answer the question you asked.

I watched reddit grow for the 13 years I was active on it. I remember when it was small and just a forum like Something Awful and not the monster it became. I preferred that way. Lemmy is kinda similar to those early forums, but with its own idiosyncrasies. Be patient and wait to see if you like it, or fuckin leave, idc.

It sounds to me like you’ve never been on a forum before reddit existed. Decentralized forums were a healthy proportion of the internet in the late 90s and early naughts.