30 something woman here, apparently I masturbate a lot compared to my friends.
I have to say “yeah once a week too” when they raise the subject ,when in fact it is multiple times a day. Husband would also do 2 times a day if he kept to his “normal” cadence. I know “whatever works for me” is right, but I’d like to compare to other people my age that aren’t my friends.
You must log in or register to comment.
- 1 month
If it does not interfere with your life, then it’s not a problem.
Might be a hot take, but:
- Sex is completely normal and natural.
- Most of the sex addiction discourse is astroturfed by christian fundamentalists.
- Most of the sex addiction stories I’ve read so far is just people wishing their life back before they had those weird urges, that came at a time they’re way too immature for them mentally.
- Unless you’re some variant of asexual, you will have sexual needs. They’re hardwired into you. Please them as long as
- the way of pleasing them won’t harm you,
- it doesn’t violate someone’s consent.
- The “grindset” is toxic, people should work less than 40 hours/week by this point, not 100 hours. The problem isn’t too much time for sex but rather not enough time for it.
- 1 month
Do note: many asexuals also have sexual needs.
Asexuality by default is the absence of physical attraction, but hormones pay a part in many other functions in the body.
Also, because of the culture I’m in unwillingly (thanks puritans who founded this country), it feels really weird to have urges, but never want to have sex in any way.
I believe a person without urges is refered to as alibidoist.
This comment is less for you, and possibly for others like me who misinterpretted the words growing up and think they are somehow different enough to be alone when there are people with all sorts of experiences all over the spectrum.
1 monthNever would have expected a “30 something woman” to be behind that username.
- 1 month
Have you seen the type of books 30 something women consume?
We be horny out here.
- CumshotCurators@fedinsfw.appEnglish1 month
I mean my husband and I have been sharing links to cumshot porn with each other for over a decade. But I get it. Not your average 30 something woman’s username 😆
- protist@retrofed.comEnglish1 month
Very frankly, this statement right here has me thinking about porn or sex addiction. If you don’t think it’s negatively affecting your life (relationships, employment, self-esteem, sexual fulfillment, etc), then you keep doing you (hehe). If you find you’re putting aside other meaningful activities on a regular basis to click the mouse, maybe take a deeper look at that pattern and consider talking with a sex-positive therapist
- 1 month
Have you considered that the friends might be insincere about their own frequency too? In many societies masturbation is considered shameful. Even when people admit they do it, they might not want you to think they do it “too much”.
- 1 month
30s male - Most days, sometimes multiple times. Lately it’s been a lot. Not sure what that’s about.
As long as it isn’t interfering with your life, flick that bean. It’s not hurting anyone.
You don’t need to compare yourself to others. They’re not you. Twice a day doesn’t sound excessive to me. 20 times a day might, but twice? It’s your body.
Also keep in mind female masturbation has, until recently, been discouraged by western culture as deviant. It may be that some of your friends are downplaying their own regularity for social pressure (you already mentioned you vocally agree with what they say – others are probably doing that, too).
I do it every month or so for the dopamine, but I’m asexual. I’d say even a few times every day is fine. If you think it’s disruptive to your life, I’d recommend therapy, but that’s like if you can’t focus in a meeting because you haven’t done it for an hour and that’s all you can think about. Otherwise, just enjoy yourself. You’re fine.
As a married man, more than I would like to. My wife has wonky hormones and she’s only in the mood right after her period. The doctor has me on bi-weekly testosterone shots that I stretch out into 4 weeks because they make me all horned up. It sucks when you can’t get somewhere to take care of that distracting urge.
Working with attractive young women doesn’t help either. Dear God I don’t know what happened. Suddenly I feel like that creepy old dude.
I’m grossing myself out.
- CumshotCurators@fedinsfw.appEnglish1 month
Haha well if it is any consolation I also work with several attractive people of both male and female genders, and it is very distracting when I am in the office, low rise short skirts on the ladies and tight gym attire on the men seems to be the current trend. And it is very eye catching.
I’m interested in the testosterone, is the effect both physical and psychological for you?
- CumshotCurators@fedinsfw.appEnglish28 days
What are the effects like? Feel free to DM if you don’t want to discuss it here
- 1 month
Well, if you mean normal as a synonym for typical or common, then a couple of times a week is where most adult, premenopausal women sit. Or, those that were willing to take part in surveys, which could skew things.
If you mean normal as a synonym for healthy, then normal is whatever frequency meets your sexual needs without interfering with the rest of your life.
Women tend to masturbate more as an enhancement of their sex life, supposedly (I didn’t do the studies, so I can only say so much). Which means that you might masturbate more often when having a satisfying sex life with partners. Men tend to have an upper limit to ejaculation frequency that tops out with a couple of times a day for most men before they can’t get an erection; the body just says nope and takes a rest. Three, maybe four ejaculations is where the average guy can crank some out, and most can’t sustain that every day.
Mind you, men can orgasm without ejaculation! But it ain’t easy to learn.
Women tend to be limited more by sensitivity and friction. The tissues of vulvae, vaginas, and clitorises gets abraded at some point, and with the elevated sensitivity brought on by orgasm, the typical woman is going to hit a similar limit as men in terms of sessions, but a higher number of orgasms may be involved per session. But! Those tissues recover quickly, so women are usually able to sustain their preferred frequency no matter how many a day it is, as the next day will have things back to typical conditions (again, on average).
So, if you’re an every day kinda gal, don’t worry. You’re within known boundaries of frequency. As long as it isn’t messing with the rest of your life, have fun and let the other people think what they will.
40’s female. every day or every other day for me. and sometimes multiple times per day.
i feel that I didn’t really take off until I was in my 30s, honestly. and after then its been like I am now.
but I feel quite normal. so I’m sure its normal for you too, Miss Curator!🙏
