phone rings, main character picks it up

“I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.” - MC

“Uhh, I’m just calling about your extended car warranty…” - poor bastard

In the end, isn’t that the real treasure?

Wait, really? My whole life is a lie.

Here’s some really profound writing you might enjoy, really brings a tear to the eye.

“In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very unhappy and has been widely regarded as a bad move.”;

Still doesn’t work.

Jesus Christ.

I can’t afford an orange, so no…

Yup! The lovely little goofballs love to murder things for fun.