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- 53 minutes
A water bottle with shards of ice in it that had melted partially. I’m being dead ass serious, btw. Happened to me at Louisville airport.
- 4 hours
Wow ok I have two. The first is long.
I moved to the Netherlands in 1991, and in the spring of 1992 my parents asked me to come home for a visit because my grandmother was dying. Which sucked.
Anyway I think I’m going to be the cool kid and smuggle some of this sweet Dutch weed back to the States. But how? Checked luggage, no control. Something on my person but not obvious? Yeah, that’s the ticket, so I stuffed my longest glove finger full of dank weed and put in my overcoat pocket thinking I could drop it without notice if things looked bad.
I land at Hartsfield and go to get my checked luggage, my weed infested glove in my overcoat pocket thrown over the back of the luggage trolly. There is this cute girl in a uniform with a beagle on a leash. The dogs starts walking toward the luggage trolly, and I’m getting nervous. He has a big old sniff and the cute girl gives him a treat. She walks up to me and says, “Sir, do you have any …fruit?”
I’m trying very hard to play it cool, but I’m sure I was not. My then girlfriend now wife had put a banana in the other overcoat pocket so I’d “eat healthy.” I answered yes, I have a banana and she says, “Then you’ll have to go to Agricultural Customs.”
Which at that time was in the basement of Hartsfield. There is only one counter with two official dudes behind it and my hand to god, two dudes with a fucking goat. These four have a very long back and forth until one of the dudes makes a call, and this other dude comes down and starts speaking French to the Two Men and a Goat. All’s well, the dudes and their goat are free to go.
[The entire time about 50m away there were constant patrols with the actual drug dogs, the german Shepards walking past me while I’m thinking fuck they are going to catch me, put me in a hole and sodomize me.]
I walk up to the two dudes at the counter and they ask me what I have. I pull out the banana which is pretty banged up at this point. They asked if I wanted to eat it, and I said no, so they directed me to a trash can behind them told me to throw it away and be on my way.
The great irony is when I finally got home to SC my mom had scored what turned out to the best weed any of us had ever smoked, and my nearly-failed career as a drug mule was all for naught.
The second one happened recently. I was going to my company’s office party at their HQ in Cyprus, flying out of Schiphol (Amsterdam). My bag goes through the scanner, gets sent down the “we gonna open this son” track. The dude points at my suitcase and asks what is on this side of it. I open it and show him one full half of the suitcase is filled with this https://www.oetker.nl/recepten/r/gevulde-speculaas which are rectangular stuffed pastry things we eat around the feast of St Nicolas (eve).
He pointed at them and looked at me somberly and said, “This is bad, very bad.” I said, Ummm, they are just treats for my coworkers." He looked at me, back down, and said “This is forbidden, you are in trouble.” Then he said nothing and I said nothing and then he busted into laughter.
He said, “I’m just fucking with you man. Under the scanner those look exactly like C-4.”
So for any Dutch traveling around xmas, many don’t bring those with you.
6 hoursNot really useless, and I volunteered it for disposal… a small LED torch. I was entering New Zealand, which has extremely strict biohazard rules. I remembered that I’d used the torch a few times while beekeeping in the UK. The risk was vanishingly small, but still a risk, so I handed it over and it went in the bin.
My sister knows I like knives. She went to Switzerland with her husband and bought a Victorinox for me. I think it was at the airport so she didn’t had the chance to check in with her luggage. TSA equivalent at her layover in India confiscated it. She was livid.
- 12 hours
I had a torx handle with a single screw driver bit attached, left over in my backpack. (So basically just a screwdriver)
Combined, it barely exceeded the maximum safety length. If I’d stored it separated, it would have been fine.
I offered to separate it, that wasn’t going to work. I needed to leave one of them behind. …as the rest of the socket set (at home) needed the torx handle, I left them with the screw driver bit.
- 16 hours
I got an opposite kinda thing. I picked up one of those credit card sized folding knives. Forgot it was in my wallet, and wasn’t even stopped at TSA. Didn’t even realize it until a couple days after I landed at my destination.
It’s ALL theatre.
- 4 hours
The other day I went to a block party/rave type event and security confiscated my new and unopened pack of gum but didn’t check or confiscate my full sized pack of alcohol wet wipes… anything could have been in that package, they didn’t even look, but my sealed gum was a possible threat??
- 7 hours
I had a full sized tube of toothpaste that had maybe one squirt left in it, and the TSA agent made me throw it away because the labeled size was bigger than 3oz.
- 9 hours
I once bought a small tube of toothpaste for travel. I didn’t really check what was allowed by the airport, I just bought what looked small enough. I arrived at the airport, went through security, traveled to my destination and used the toothpaste during the week I was away.
When I was set to return my toothpaste was flagged at the airport. It was “too big”. I of course argued with the TSA agent that I had flown into this exact airport a week before with MORE toothpaste in the container than it had in it now. Of course there is no logic. Into the bin my mostly new toothpaste went.
- 15 hours
I traveled to a manufacturing expo last year. I had so much stuff to bring back that I needed extra room in my carry-on. So I loaded it up with these: box of drill bits and some endmills (very sharp), set of dial calipers, set of metal files, small containers of superglue, a couple books of sandpaper, set of precision pins for measuring holes (basically looks like a bed of nails in a box). Also I had a bottle of water. Yep the bottle was confiscated but they didn’t care about all the other crap even if it looked like MacGuiver was planning to hijack a plane.
I had a flight safe multitool, one that specifically had no blade, nor anything sharp. It only had tools for my camera. I also had a fisher space pen which they said looked too much like a bullet.
Both were confiscated, but they couldn’t figure out how to open the front flipper knife I had with me, so they let it through.
The TSA bullshit isn’t about keeping us safe.
- thermal_shock@lemmy.worldEnglish17 hours
Dude, I took a domestic flight recently and don’t have realid bullshit cause it’s not mandatory in my state and I renewed online during covid. Anyway, had to pay the $45 “security check” (only good for 10 days) to TSA to board. Husband got through with a box cutter, I got held up because I had money they wanted.
3 days later I’m verifying a Costco membership, their questions asked where I lived in 1988. It was harder to verify my identity at Costco than get a box cutter through TSA. It’s a fucking money grab joke. It didn’t even verify anything except my card had $45 they could charge me.
- Zarobi@aussie.zoneEnglish16 hours
I took my bike, but they confiscated my entire tyre patch / repair kit because it had an allen key in it. Apparently I might try to disassemble the plane from the inside or something. Then I learnt it’s surprisingly hard to find a tyre repair kit in my destination. Hooray
- 23 hours
$11.8 billion dollars a year in tax money and airfare fees.
Since they were formed in November 2001, they’ve never stopped a terrorist plot, never prevented an airport attack, and never prevented an attacker from getting on an airplane. So literally everything they’ve ever taken in their two decades, including their budget, has been useless.
- 22 hours
yeah but 11.8 billion dollars is useful. We’re talking about the useless act they put on wherein they steal our useless stuff for 11.8 Billion dollars.
- 18 hours
Hmm, I interpreted “most useless” as applying to “confiscated” (as in, what is the thing that airport security most uselessly confiscated), but you’re right that it could modify “thing” (as in, what is the thing that was most useless which airport security confiscated). I think your way might be more grammatically correct, but I have heard both intended meanings in conversation.
Interesting ambiguity.
Would we know if they stopped a plot? Would it not at least be an imperfect deterrent for those considering but deciding against it?
- 18 hours
Probably not. Before 2001, airport security screening was performed by privately-contracted security firms at each airport. The no-fly list (then called “no transport”) already existed and was maintained by the FAA in association with the FBI. There were still metal detectors and other elements of basic security screening which handled almost every reasonable threat, with one notable exception of course.
But the security vulnerabilities that were identified on 9/11–the hijackers’ ability to get small blades and pepper spray onto the plane, and the unlocked cockpit doors–were already patched by those private security agencies and by the FAA when air travel resumed on September 13. While better communication between those agencies, the airlines, the airports, the FAA, and the FBI was something that was sorely needed, establishing the TSA was far from the only way to do that; and putting them directly in charge of security at every airport was absolutely unnecessary.
But overall the threat of force is not an effective deterrent, especially for terrorism. When you think about it, those terrorists were planning to die on the plane; what do they care that the TSA threatened force against them? Any threat that they’d be stopped would only have changed their plans, not eliminated them.
- 19 hours
If the TSA had ever prevented a terrorist plot you can be sure they’d be screaming about it at every opportunity.
- 18 hours
Actually, all of the meaningful parts of the TSA (the security checkpoints with basic metal detectors, the no-fly list, and the in-flight security) were already in place before the TSA was established; they were just performed by independent security firms (contracted by each airport), by the FAA, and by the FBI.
Further, security and screening of almost every kind has a bias toward the attack vector of the most recent attack; it sucks across the board at coming up with new possible vectors. That means that, if the TSA had been in operation two months earlier, they likely wouldn’t have caught the terrorists’ weapons either (small blades and pepper spray), because they didn’t know to look for them then either.
The only reason that the TSA might’ve caught the September 11 hijackers is that the FBI and CIA individually had intelligence that, if put together, could’ve identified the hijackers early and added them to the FAA’s no-fly list; and the TSA might have facilitated better communication between those agencies.
Which means that the only arguable benefit that the TSA has brought to transportation security in America is coordination and standardization between entities and across airports throughout the US–which isn’t explicitly a part of the TSA’s mandate and could’ve been accomplished by a computer network.
- FishFace@piefed.socialEnglish7 hours
Presumably airport security cost something (whether funded by fares or taxes) before the TSA - do we know how it compares?
- 21 hours
There is actually an entire industry focused on testing security measures to ensure they work. It is called penetration testing. For something like the TSA, they’ll do audits where test passengers are sent through with contraband. Sort of like secret shoppers who evaluate a retail store by pretending to shop there. In one particular audit, they only successfully caught 3 out of 70. Some audits estimate a 95% failure rate.
The audits have consistently found that TSA’s catch rates are lower than random searches, by a wide margin. As in, they’d be better off not searching everyone, and just doing randomized searches on ~10-15% of passengers. That random “10-15% of passengers get a full search” system would catch more than the current “search everyone but miss 95% of contraband” system.
They could literally just roll a d8 die for each passenger in the line, and on a 1 they initiate a full search. And that would be more effective than their current methods.
- 21 hours
Here is a write-up about one of the old 2015 audits. And here is one from 2017. And it’s worth noting that new audit results aren’t readily available, because the TSA started classifying their results around 2017 instead of releasing the numbers, when David Pekoske was installed as administrator. Because that definitely screams “our numbers are improving!”
Basically, a thorough search of 10-15% of passengers would more accurately catch threats, when compared to searching everyone with a ~95% miss rate. There are even systems designed to randomly select people for searches. Usually used in jobs where employees are subject to searches/drug tests as they’re arriving/leaving. For instance, if a company needs to drug test 5% of their employees every day, they can set their random selector to ping on 5% of people as they’re arriving.
They’re usually triggered automatically by walking across a mat, by employees badging through a controlled access door, or via a button push as security buzzes you in. But it could also be configured to be triggered based on something like ticket scans for passengers. Passengers get their ticket scanned, the random selector system randomly selects the pre-programmed percentage of passengers, and they’re the only ones who get pulled aside. All the rest are free to continue to their gate as usual. That way there are no accusations of random searches being discriminatory, because the random selector system is doing the choosing based on the defined percentage.
- 23 hours
TSA took a half-eaten banana away from my crying toddler niece to run it through the X-ray scanner.
ಠ_ಠ
- 20 hours
Would make a great “What radicalized you” answer, too.
Btw, my toddler was given absolutely fantastic treatment in Japan. Free toys and patience. I bet other countries are similarly respectful.
I’ve never had anything confiscated but, I did have an argument with security about whether my backpack was allowed to be used as a carry on or not. It contained a portable battery that strictly is not allowed to be in checked luggage by TSA guidelines and must be via a carry on. It took me having to pull up the TSA regulations on batteries in order for them to give me the backpack back.
This one time I was in Berlin with my girlfriend and the guy is taking a long time looking at the xray of my bag. Finally, he asks me, “do you have a flashlight in your bag?” and I told him no. He looked puzzled and he asks me “what is the device in your bag that is shaped like a flashlight?” and I told him I really had no idea but I was sure I don’t have a flashlight in my bag. Then he tells me he needs to search the bag. Of course I agree.
He opens the bag, chuckles, and closes it back up and says “its ok have a nice flight!” and I’m so confused. Right then my gf comes from the line and grabs my hand and drags me to the gate.
We get a little bit away and she starts laughing her ass off “it’s my vibrator!” because of course she stuck it in my bag without telling me but no he did not confiscate it.
- Arcane2077@sh.itjust.worksEnglish23 hours
Love that “my girlfriend’s vibrator” is your answer to “what is something useless”
