I’ve noticed that there seems to be an emphasis on being extremely serious at all times, as if every single comment is a PhD dissertation being evaluated or something. There’s like this weird, subtle one upmanship about every little thing and a lot of people are very nitpicky and judgmental. It kind of takes the fun out of being on here, TBH. Or am I the only one experiencing this?
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11 daysNaa its mostly fun to me! And the people i interact with seem like good people for the most part.
- neidu3@sh.itjust.worksEnglish9 days
Agreed. And to dispell the impression of posts having to be PhD dissertations: Pee pee poo poo
I am, however, a judgmental prick, but I (usually) keep those opinions to myself. I will silently judge youbased on your posts and comments, and leave it at that.
- 11 days
I find myself generally well received in both serious posts and dumb jokes. I rarely actually run into anyone that hard headed.
- 11 days
Lemmy is rather small, you might be bumping into the same 3 users everywhere.
- Zarobi@aussie.zoneEnglish11 days
In the app I use I can “tag” people’s usernames and keep track of them across posts. It’s interesting to bump into “angry cyclist” being aggressive again about a completely random topic. It kind of puts it into perspective that it might just be how this person sees the world, especially if they’re very active and keep showing up. It feels very much like older forums where the same people keep turning up, which is something I didn’t realise I missed.
- 11 days
Just an extension to this, when I used Reddit, /r/all was too big and had a bunch of crap I didn’t care about, and I browsed my home page of subscribed communities.
On here I only ever browse All, despite the drawbacks. I think it’s practically the only way to use Lemmy. OP might have subscribed to a dozen communities and felt claustrophobic especially if they’re coming from Reddit.
Different instances are more or less insular though. Hexbear can be good fun but once you realize 95% of the posts and comments are from like 200 people it feels more like a discord server than a federated link aggregator. db0 federates with most big instances so even our local communities don’t feel as insular. .world is .world, for better and for worse.
- 10 days
Sorry about that, I’ll try to get my friend on here who’s nicer than me.
- Quetzalcutlass@lemmy.worldEnglish10 days
Sounds about right. Outside of political threads, I’ve only noticed and tagged maybe three users that are truly toxic (as in they enter every conversation with an insult and devolve from there). The problem is that those users are active everywhere and make the Lemmyverse feel much less welcoming than it actually is.
- 404@lemmy.zipEnglish11 days
I prefer it over the reddit way, tbh. Every comment section there is just filled with gifs and jokes, and you have to scroll miles to get a reasonable and sound answer to what OP was asking. It’s especially frustrating when I’ve searched for an issue online and reddit pops up in the search results, and all responses are just bad repetitive jokes.
- 404@lemmy.zipEnglish11 days
Yeah. I’m assuming a lot of the meaningless drivel on there is bots “driving engagement” too
- 10 days
Not even that, there’s talking point level reactivity now that doesn’t fit the prior reactivity we were all accustomed to on old reddit.
- 11 days
Initially yes, the most active communities are filled with incredibly pedantic and holier-than-thou users that are more than happy to call you a drooling idiot for not agreeing with their logical opinions.
Once you start subscribing to communities you actually enjoy and block comms that allow users to muse about how 14 year olds have a “consenting nature” (looking at you !shitposting@lemmy.world), Lemmy becomes a lot more useful and inclusive. There’s a lot of communities that are more active than it seems. I suggest going to the communities page and subscribing to just those comms that interest you.
Also be the change you want to see! Start posting and commenting without worrying about what the average Lemming thinks of you. We can build the type of communities we want instead of allowing this place to become another 4Chan.
- 11 days
Gotta agree with you here Velma. The beauty of Lemmy isn’t that it attracts or allows different people, but that we aren’t advertised to, and we are able to block instances or communities that don’t work for us, and we are able to fully curate our home pages without being shown posts from completely unrelated pages just because they paid money to be boosted. Once that is done and we have found and settled into our spaces, that is where the good interactions come out.
Misogyny is just as rampant here as any online space, it’s a systemic issue, it was not a reddit/4chan-exclusive issue. It existed before and will outlast reddit/4chan until we solve the actual fucking problem: men are both socialized and continually encouraged to fundamentally disrespect women. They need to do just as much brain-rewiring as we do when we combat our internalized misogyny.
- 11 days
Misogyny is just as rampant here as any online space, it’s a systemic issue, it was not a reddit/4chan-exclusive issue. It existed before and will outlast reddit/4chan until we solve the actual fucking problem: men are both socialized and encouraged to fundamentally disrespect women. They need to do just as much brain-rewiring as we do when we combat our internalized misogyny.
Well said. You’re right - the root of the problem is that the users here are predominately male and that then influences the tone of the space. Without conscious effort it is easy to allow misogyny to flourish.
- 11 days
Especially since they are hard-wired to just not notice it - hence why we constantly get told we are overreacting - to them it comes out of left field because they do not see what we see.
The real piss off with that is that while I realize it isn’t their fault they are socialized that way, if they really want to believe that they, individually, are one of the “good ones” (as in, the non-problematic men, the ones not contributing to the problem) they can’t justify that belief unless they are actively listening when we tell them what we experience, or how something comes across from our perspective. So many of them want to push the problem down by saying “nuh uh” or arguing with us about our own damn experiences
Its fucking asinine.
- 11 days
My favorite is when they acknowledge we live in a patriarchal society, that women are treated worse than men, but we are overreacting or simply imagining men are treating us this way.
Fucking asinine indeed!
- 11 days
Sorry you girls/women have to fight so hard just to have a space. Probably makes it hard to want to try some days and it shouldn’t be that way.
- 11 days
As dkppunk said, it would help if the good men here would push back against their fellow men and some of these attitudes here. Seeing others push to create space for everyone to feel welcome helps a lot!
- 10 days
I haven’t come across much, but I mostly visit stuff where discussions don’t bring in anything mysoginistic. I may not notice everything as immediately since I’m not the one directly affected, but I do try to speak up when I notice because it affects some of my favorite people. I’m glad though, that you and others are speaking up and pushing so more of us take the effort to heart and pay proper attention.
Absolutely! I wish more male users of these comms would call out their fellow men’s misogyny and not rely on others to do it for them. It would make the spaces more welcoming to a lot more people and create a more positive atmosphere.
I also love seeing 2 of my fave lemmings in other spaces 🥰
- 11 days
Been missing seeing you as often after Blahaj went down last week! Good to see you again today :)
Definitely one of the users that make Lemmy a pleasure to be on!!
- 11 days
I’ve found Lemmy the most gender diverse friendly place yet. A lot less 4chany/reddit/spezpedo than anywhere else.
- 11 days
You’re ignoring how many women, femmes, trans, enbies, and POC are on Reddit.
Reddit’s population size is going to naturally make it way more diverse than Lemmy for a long time still.
- 11 days
Not ignoring. They have a larger audience, but I felt the general community was more welcomed, and openly themselves here edit: in non-specialized subs.
- 11 days
Ah, there were quite a few great subreddits I was involved in that were incredibly diverse and friendly. I miss those spaces, though I’ve found a couple of communities on Lemmy with similar feel.
I’ve found Lemmy quite harsh and exclusionary for women, so maybe my experience has just been different than yours.
- 11 days
Sorry to hear. I hope that changes fast. My experience on Reddit was vastly different.
- 11 days
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I just don’t understand misogyny. I absolutely love everything about women.
- 11 days
Damn, I have the perfect gif for this but Lemmy doesn’t support gifs in comments yet?
- 11 days
Maaaaybe? If the following gif works, we will know something
Edit: Damn, links the IMG but doesn’t play the gif for me.
- 10 days
Voyager app checking in with all systems green: your wish is granted.
- Zarobi@aussie.zoneEnglish11 days
I had to open it, then hold tap on the image and click “play animation”, so it’s definitely app dependant
- 11 days
users to muse about how 14 year olds have a “consenting nature” (looking at you !shitposting@lemmy.world)
What the actual fuck? Are you finding people like that? Oh wtf man. I haven’t seen that in there yet. I’ve seen some category 5 dumbasses but nothing heinous like that. That’s fuckin gross
- 10 days
Yeah there’s definitely some cp-adjacent porn comms on here too, it’s fucking disgusting.
- 10 days
Yeah that’s completely fucked. Glad I’ve not seen it but definitely reporting any I find. Pedos and their enablers need to fuck off and die in a hole.
- 11 days
Yeah I reported several comments, but the post had been up for days at that point and no mods stepped in at all.
Full conversation justifying rock stars raping 14 year olds because it’s more cool than when politicians do it and 14 year olds have a consenting nature.
It was absolutely disgusting. Even the OP of the post called it out.
Nothing. Comments are still up. I blocked the pedo comm at this point.
I’ve noticed that lately shit posting communities have really gone down the drain because there seems to be some sort of cultural notion that you can just post anything and it’s fine because… “It’s a shitpost, it’s not that serious, you just don’t get it”. I remember back in my day shitposting used to mean something 😤
- 10 days
Yeah satire still has taste to it. If you are familiar with super troopers, shitposting is like the officers fucking with people, but what these creeps are doing is like Farva calling people “ChickenFucker” with no humor or nuance etc or anything.
If you aren’t familiar with Super troopers, you need to go watch it meow.
- 10 days
Take a look at my post history, you would be surprised at the positivity I usually comment with - I have no patience for sexist men though.
- rabber@lemmy.caEnglish10 days
Yeah you love spewing insults lol
I’m also self aware enough to know i can be a shithead and i’m not out here whining and pretending i’m not part of the problem either
Your name is recognizable and i have seen countless comments from you that rub me the wrong way
- 10 days
If you know you’re part of the problem, why not… stop? You don’t have to be a shithead. It’s actually really easy to treat people with respect.
- rabber@lemmy.caEnglish10 days
Because I don’t agree with the OP that it’s an issue. I think that on anon boards you can act however you want. There are better places if you are this sensitive.
- 10 days
You can act however you want, but if you act like a shithead all the time you’re probably gonna get a lot of shit back. That’s fine if that’s what you want, but in that case you gotta have a thick enough skin for it.
- rabber@lemmy.caEnglish10 days
You can. I would have blocked you if I wasn’t ok with it.
I’m merely pointing out that you have no room to complain about hostility here. Youre a hypocrite
- 10 days
Yeah, which insults do I throw out most? I don’t name call hardly ever unless it’s to point out misogyny and even then it’s to call them a misogynist. I’m serious, feel free to go through my post history. You won’t find what you’re looking for there.
I’m self aware enough to know that I am rude to men who do not respect women. I don’t deny that.
I’ve seen a lot of comments that rub me the wrong way as well.
- 10 days
No, I hate sexist men who can’t respect a women’s only community.
I hate men who rape.
I hate men who insist on their viewpoint being the only correct one and waiving away women’s perspectives and views.
That’s very different from hating all men.
- 11 days
Insular has such a negative connotation. I’d call it “neighborly”: I like seeing the same usernames over again and getting to know their idiosyncrasies.
Hostile, I have to disagree with outright. I only have reddit and oldschool fora to compare it against, but lemmy is much friendlier than both.
Are we given to long comments? Sure. Are those comments worth reading? Usually! And that’s what makes the difference.
- 11 days
Don’t disagree at all, I think a lot of what’s going on is the uptick in the “eternal September phenomenon”. A lot of us have been here for a while even if like myself we’ve switched instances, and those that have stuck around know the way things work and also like it, the new folks come here and think it’s Reddit, and when they get pushback because we’re all clearly here because we on one level or another had problems with Reddit or some other platform, they seem to think we’re the inclusive ones. When really they’re all up in the koolaid and don’t even know the flavor.
Some will stick around and some will bail, and then the cycle repeats, it’s just been happening with greater frequency
Edit: I’ll also freely admit that sometimes it is a bit serious here for my personality which leans flippant, but that’s fine, I still am here for a reason
- AskewLord@piefed.socialEnglish10 days
or it’s just that as things get popular the lowest common denominator content becomes the most prevalent.
because that is how the majority of folks operate.
- Tyrq@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish11 days
I find it much more cynical than other places, probably just the nature of how everyone ended up here, jaded by the design of centralized social media.
I have to remind myself that everything isnt as ‘sky is falling’ as I see around these parts. Maybe I’m just blessed with a nice life, and I try not to take that for granted, but it does give me that feeling unfortunately.
I try my best to insert some humour into the headlines as some sort of way to make some light of it all, but that might just be playing into the fear and anger that I see around.
- some_guy@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish11 days
Maybe I’m just blessed with a nice life, and I try not to take that for granted, but it does give me that feeling unfortunately.
You probably are. Me too, fortunately. But times are hard and bleak for a lot of people. I know cause I went through it for nearly a decade getting to here.
- 11 days
It got a lot better for me after blocking a number of communities and individual users.
- AskewLord@piefed.socialEnglish10 days
you really have to block entire instances if you want to massively cut down on the hate/spite fueled content that floods this space. lots of lemmy is ID politics doomerism perspectives.
and yeah if you are hateful and spite filled, you won’t see that content that way, you will see it as ‘good’.
- 11 days
basically it’s what i’ve been looking for. a place to horny-post but also discuss serious issues with actual understanding of reality. i’m thoroughly sick of the vibes-posting that dominates r*ddit and every other mainstream platform. i’m sick of the ads, of being distracted from important issues with video games, the newest gossip, etc.
i really just want a meaningful place in the universe. if that seems “stiff” to other people, well then i guess i gotta care less about what other people think of me. i gotta be used to it by now anyways, considering i’ve been very autistic my entire life.
- 11 days
So, you’re looking for a mullet? Serious topics in the front, horny posts in the back? I like it.
No one yells at me to read the friendly manual like the arch forums. The only yelling I see is political stuff. I don’t see the console flame wars. Comments don’t look like youtube of the 2010s and before. Its not 4chan. It doesn’t have much of the smuggery of hacker news. I can block the chapo trap house people. Fediverse and activitypub actually works and we have some admins who seem to care about informing others of bad actors either as individuals to entire instances.
Lemmy seems good to me!
- 11 days
What do you mean by Chapo trap house people? I don’t think I’ve encountered that
- 11 days
r/ChapTrapHouse was the left wing equivalent of r/The_Donald, constantly brigading and trolling other subs. And just like r/T_D, their sub got banned and they kept trying to remake the community only to be banned again and again.
IIRC, the r/ChapoTrapHouse folks eventually started up Hexbear on here, while r/The_Donald moved to ExplodingHeads. Both instances are often defederated by other instances, so you probably don’t see them a lot
- 10 days
Hostile, no not really. Less tolerance for bullshit isn’t necessarily hostile.
Insular? Yeah. It’s a small community.
- 9 days
less tolerance for other valid opinions is hostile though. You can’t call differing opinions bullshit
- Lantsu@sopuli.xyzEnglish11 days
At first, I was very cautious here. After Reddit, I was expecting that people would go through post histories and attack me for misunderstandings and call me an AI bot, like some users do in sites like Reddit… But no. I haven’t had any issues, even when I have put out more controversial opinions or asked dumb questions. I have gotten downvoted occasionally when I have been wrong or misunderstood, which is fair. I have gotten replies from people with different opinions, but they have been polite and sticked in the topic, which is fucking amazing. I haven’t had a single even slightly unpleasant interaction so far.
Folk here have been very helpful, polite, funny or neutral. I’m actually becoming more brave at posting and commenting, and I no longer feel fearful/unpleasant when I see that I have an unread notification. Of course there are communities I have blocked or instances that I avoid but that’s just to curate my feeds.
- 11 days
For me it’s the opposite. Every time I make a fresh account on here I engage a lot in the beginning while the experience is still positive, then as the replies start to feel more pointed and personal I back off more and more.
- 11 days
“Every time I make a fresh account”
Why do you need to keep making new accounts?
- 10 days
Not op, but I keep deleting and creating new accounts too. It just internet hygiene at this point.
I’m from Bora Bora btw. See?
- 10 days
“Hygiene” as in “no-one would take me seriously with this comment history so time to make a new one”?
- 10 days
Hygiene as in I don’t want to get doxxed, or have someone compiling a profile on me. What do I care if a rando takes me seriously or not? 🤷♂️
- 10 days
I don’t want to get doxxed
Do you post your name and/or address or anything that could be used to ID you? How is changing an account going to influence that.
“Someone compiling a profile on me”
Sure, yeah, buddy. “They’re following YOU, but luckily making a new account completely gets rid of whatever tinfoil entity you’re imagining.”
The only people I could see that being a problem for is anyone part of anything organised and not wanting to get caught.
- 10 days
Considering the US government is currently dragging people to court over their innocuous social media posts, maybe this take is a little short-sighted.
- 10 days
You should always change accounts once in a while, just for online safety alone. Creating a long history of comments gives a lot of data about you, and the longer, the more. And that is not a good thing in these AI-data-mining days.
- 10 days
Yeah AI will scrape your writings despite the username. So what are you exactly afraid of, personally?
And no, this isn’t the “if you’ve nothing to hide you’ve nothing to fear”- argument. I’m pro-privacy. I understand loads of people like it and I think it’s a human right. But personally I don’t care about it, for me. I care about it for humanity. And I understand that if you’re for instance a hard line government critic in an autocratic state, you might want to make it harder for them to find you.
But like, I generally don’t believe that just making a new account and having a different username would make any difference to the government’s ability to track you. If you have a poorly IT literate stalker, then sure, it would be immensely useful.
But against government apparati actually focused on you? Like the NSA? Juutosisnaatoimiikimuutevarmaa
- 10 days
For me personally, it is frankly more about paranoia towards other people. I am transgendered, so I have learned to always be vary, there are no pictures of me online. I do not have any social media accounts, outside relatively anonymous stuff like lemmy. And even here I would never give out an actual email, or any other personal details that can be easily tracked. I know that while you are on the internet, you cannot really escape the surveillance (except maybe on tor, but yes that is not so simple either), but that does not mean you should make things easier, for any random person, company or anything. I do not think it is good if anyone can read years worth of your personal comments.
Eik näe AI aekana mikkee, eiees muruteella puhummine autakkaa ennee juu
- 10 days
That’s not changing an account, that’s avoiding having one.
but that does not mean you should make things easier, for any random person, company or anything
So why not make a new user each and every time? Would make it harder for them. (The slippery slope works both ways.)
Except people can still read that with AI;
I don’t see Al at all, I don’t think I’ll help you with my words.
Eisenniivituvaikiaaol
Meaning my method (in this case, not the thread) works, yours doesn’t seem to.
- 10 days
So why not make a new user each and every time?
That is… that is what I am saying you should do? VPN, email-masking, new accounts at least once a year and deleting all history from older one, and never using the same usernames, is the bare minimum. That will not protect you from surveillance, or being found, but it will make it harder, for internet randoms especially. And if you have to have accounts with names and pictures, for work or something, always keep them completely separate from accounts you actually use for freetime, and stuff.
I don’t see Al at all, I don’t think I’ll help you with my words.
Very wrong translation though, so surprisingly that still works too.
- 10 days
Yeah my name is recognizable enough now that misogynists will routinely go through my post history. It’s daily at this point.
- 11 days
Huh, I don’t really have much advise to that, but it’s an understanble reaction. I gotta say that there have been times my first reaction to a reply has been negative, but upon rereading it I have noticed that it was just my reaction. I like that here I learn new stuff every day and that people are willing to politely correct me (/share their opinion or experience on the matter.) I hope you find your place, if not here then maybe on some other site!
No. I encounter people I would consider “hostile” far less frequently compared to another site that I used to frequent.
I’ve felt that way since I switched to Lemmy after the Reddit API fiasco. It’s kind of annoying and I’m not the biggest fan of it. But I don’t feel like every interaction is this way, just way more than Reddit.
That being said, Lemmy is much better when it comes to engagement. I can post something and actually get comments, likes, and replies. On Reddit, it felt like a drop in the bucket. Half the time, you were too late to the post and it already had so many comments that yours would barely be seen by anyone.
Obviously, that didn’t apply to the smaller subreddits but I like that on Lemmy I don’t need to go to small niche communities just to feel like I’m part of the conversation.
The comments on this post actually made me think “Do I prefer the way Reddit was” and the answer is no. Thinking back, Reddit posts would consist of the same joke, one liner or low effort replies at the top. There was very little originality and tons of shitposting.
At the end of the day, everything has its pros and cons. Just choose the one that works best for you.
- 11 days
What is priceless about Reddit is its reach. In real discussions on niche topics, you get a volume and diversity of viewpoints that are simply not available here.
However, they have the algorithm, so you have to doomscroll through hours of low effort noise to occasionally bump into a good post.
Might be the community or instance your interacting with. I’ve not really noticed anything like that.
Then again, I just ban anything I’m not interested in seeing.
